I'd Lie and So Much More
by AlleyGator4536
Summary: Casey was just offered a recording contract. Will she take it or will other things, or people, stop her? DASEY
1. Chapter 1

So this story takes place after Vacation with Derek. The thought just kind of randomly came to me and I wanted to write it. It is written in Casey's POV unless otherwise stated. I don't really know to much else of what to say since I'm really tired. So on the with the story. Please read and review. Please.

Disclaimer: If I owned this, Things would be way different. I would be rich and Derek and Casey would be together.

* * *

I got back stage and sat down with a sigh. It was the last performance I would ever do which meant it was time to go home. First time in a year. Oh god, I'm so nervous. After last summer, when I started to see that Derek might actually be human, I started to see him in a different way. I started to, and if anyone ever found this out i would so lie, like him. More then in a brotherly way.

There was a knock on the door.

"Yeah?" The person who had become my best friend, Jude, came in.

"C'mon Casey, it's party time. We have to celebrate our last performance and there is someone here to talk to you." That had me confused. Who wanted to talk to me? I walked out to the lobby to see a guy in a business standing there.

"Ah Casey Mcdonald. May I have a word with you?" I was beyond confused now.

"Yes you may. What is this about."

" I am Mark Callahan from from Call Records." Call Records? That is a huge music studio. Why is he talking to me?

"I have heard of them. They are one of the biggest studios in New York."

"That they are. We would like to sign you." What? Me? Singing professionally? That would be so crazy but so awesome. What would the family say. I only just got done with performances. Oh god. I started freaking out. Calm down Casey. Calm down. I finally was to let a word slip out.

"R-r-really?"

"Yes. You don't have to make a decision now. Just by the end of the month. Here is my card. Give me a call when you know." He handed me his business card and left. I stood there stunned until Sadie came over and shook me out of my stupor.

"What'd he want?" She looked confused.

"Umm, He offered me a record deal."

"He WHAT!" She screamed in my ear. "That is huge, Are you gonna take it or what?"

"I don't know. It's a pretty big decision. I don't know. There are so many cons but so many pros to it." She look at me a knowing look. "I'm overthinking this aren't I?"

"Only a little. Maybe a lot." Of course I am. That's me.

"I have three more weeks until I have to let them know so I will think about when I get home. Come one. Let's go get to partying. I need to get my mind off of this."

I hooked my arm around Sadie's and we went to out\r apartment for the cast party.

When we got there, there were a group of people waiting outside.

"Sorry Sorry. I got caught up. Let's go celebrate our success." I unlocked the door and everyone crammed inside. This is going to be a long night.

I woke up the next morning to a messy apartment. Great. I got up and started cleaning everything. Three hours and seven garbage bags later the apartment was shiny clean. Now to pack for for Sunday. I can't believe I'm going home tomorrow.

Sadie came out just then. "Hey Casey, make any food."

"Nope just got done cleaning though. And I have to go start packing." I hated the thought of leaving but I loved the thought of seeing my family.

"When are you leaving?" Sadie asked.

"Tomorrow. My flight leaves at 5 AM."

"Ick, way to early for my taste." Ot was to early for me to but I just wanted to get home.

"Oh I know. I don't like it either."

"Hey, if you take the contract, you know you're welcome to stay here." I loved Sadie for saying that.

"Thanks, I might take you up on that offer." I walked back to my room to pack and get ready the next day.


	2. I'm Coming Home

This is chapter is not the best. I had issues with writing it because I just want to get to the good stuff. I will try and update every couple of days if not everyday. Just read and review. I love reviews. They make my day!

Disclaimer: I do not own Life With Derek. I wish I did. Life would be so different.

* * *

I walked in the door and was bombarded with hugs. Everyone but Derek. Where was he? After Lizzie, Edwin, and Marti hugged for what seemed like five minutes. I saw mom standing on the stairs with tears in her and a happy smile on her face.

"Hey mom." I didn't realize that I had started to cry as I ran up to her and hugged her. No one told me where Derek was but I didn't ask. We all went into the kitchen and started talking about what happened during the year I was gone. Lizzie got a boyfriend (who turned very red at the mention of this), Edwin had broken up with his girlfriend, but had his eye on someone new, and Marti was the same old Marti.

After talking for four hours, I went upstairs to start unpacking. Like normal Derek's door was shut but unlike normal I didn't hear any sound coming from it. Oh well, he probably just has his headphones on or something. I walked into my room and turned on the light. I nearly screamed when I saw someone sitting on my bed.

"Casey, Case, it's just me." I knew that voice.

"Derek. What are you doing in here besides making me nearly kill myself?" Of course I had to go argue with him again.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." Wait, he's sorry. That's new.

"That's fine. What are you doing in here?"

"I just wanted to say welcome back without a crowd." That is.. sweet of him. I wonder what brought on this change.

He walked up to him and pulled me into a hug. It felt nice and I liked it in his arms. They were strong from all the hockey he played.

He pulled away from the hug and stared at me. I look into his eyes and found they were oft. This made the green more prominent. I could just stare at hose eyes all day and not care about anything else. I didn't even notice when he started to lean in. His eyes flickered down to my lips, just for a second. My eyes closed as I felt him dawning closer and closer; his lips just about there.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

I woke with a start. My heart was racing and my breathing heavy. No it's Derek. You should not be dreaming of kissing him. Get a grip Casey. You have a flight to catch. I took a deep breath and got up to get ready. Today was the big day and I was running late. I rushed making sure I had everything and got a cab to the airport. I ran inside and got my baggage checked and through the line with five minutes to spare before my flight. I was starting to get nervous and my stomach was doing backflips. What if everything had changed? What if they started liking Derek more then me? Oh god that would be horrible. Your psyching yourself out. Everything will be normal nothing will happen.

I was so deep in thought, I almost din't hear them call my flight. I heard it on the final boarding call. I ran and climbed aboard.

Luckily my seat was by a window. I looked outside and watched everything get smaller as we took-off. Next thing I knew, we were half an hour away from Toronto.

Deep breaths Casey, just take deep breaths.

As soon as we touched down, and we were let off the plane I bolted to the baggage claim. I always had this fear that my bags were going to et lost and I would be left with nothing. Luckily I saw my bright yellow and pink patterned bags. I grabbed and went find a cab to London.

An hour later we pulled up to the house I had learned to looked the same. Marti's bike sitting in the front lawn. The Prince in the driveway. The music blaring upstairs.

I signed and opened the cab door. The driver got out to help m with my bags, took my money, and then sped off leaving me alone standing on the lawn. I walked up to the door and opened it. Of course, no bombarding hugs came at me. No one even came running. I knew i shouldn't feel to disappointed since I didn't tell anyone I was coming home now but still. I set my stuff down and walked into the kitchen where my mom was preparing lunch.

"Hey Mom." She barely even looked up.

"Oh hi Casey lunch will be ready in a about an-" It finally dawned on her. "Oh my goodness Casey!" She dropped the knife in the sink and ran to give me a hug.

"I missed you so much. Lizzie did too." She had started crying. So had I.

"I missed you too Mom."

We stayed like for a couple then pulled apart wiping our eyes.

"So how have you been? It's been way to long," She said.

"I've been good. I had a lot of fun performing. Being able to dance and sing in front of an audience and a big one at that. It's exhilarating."

I started to think about that singing contract again. Maybe I should wait for a while to tell her. I mean she just got me back.

"I'm glad Casey. You seem really happy."

"Thanks, how have you been? What's been going on here?"

"Hectic. Marti is going through her everything-is-up-to-me stage and won't listen to anyone but Derek. Lizzie is going trough a rebellious stage. Hopefully you can get her out of that a little. It's pretty bad. Edwin is starting to be exactly like Derek. And George is being himself. When you left, everything went crazy."

Wow I can't believe all that happened. Hopefully I can get Lizzie back to herself.

"I'm gonna go talk to Lizzie. Maybe I can help a little."

I walked up the steps and the music got louder. Of course some things never change. Derek is still Derek. I will deal with him later. I walked over to Lizzie's room and knocked on the door.

"What?" What was that? Lizzie's never yelled at me before. Wait she doesn't know its's me yet. You can fix this.

"Lizzie it's me. Can I come in?"

"Oh Casey. Let me think about it. NO!" What? That is not her at all. I opened the door and barged inside. I slowed when I saw how different it looked. Everything was dark. She had nothing sporty anymore.

"What happened to you Liz?" I asked quietly

"Nothing you need to know. You were gone for a year remember? Now could you please get out?" I was taken back. Lizzie never talked to me like that before.I walked out of the room shocked. I walked back downstairs to grab my stuff then started walking back up to my room. I didn't notice someone standing at the top of the stairs.

"Well well well. If it's Klutzilla."


	3. Ow!

I'm horrible. I know. I haven't updated in nearly two weeks. My grandfather died last week and so I had the funeral and the viewing and all these people I don't know saying I'm sorry and hugging me and it was a long week. I was also on spring break so I was catching up with my friends that I hadn't seen in forever and and it's just been crazy. So to make up a little bit for my disappearance, I am posting two chapter this go around. Hope you like them. Please please please review. I love them. they make my day. :)

disclaimer-I in no way shape or form own LWD. If I did I would be a millionaire living in Virginia Beach and going to amusement parks al the time. yet here I am at college having to write research papers.

* * *

Derek had startled me and, of course, I fell down the stairs. Why did I have to be clumsy and scared easily? I could hear Derek laughing as I landed on the landing.

"Der-ek!" I yelled up the stairs. Ow. That really hurt.

I tried to move but my whole body was sore. I decided to just lie there as I heard someone running towards me.

"Oh my! Casey, are you okay?"

"Yes mom. Your stepson just decided to scare me for old times sake and I fell."

"I did not decide to scare you. All I said was hi. I could scare you a lot better then that if I really wanted to." Derek said then walked back to his room. He didn't ask to see how I was. Especially after what happened when I fell off the couch a few years ago. What a jerk.

I tried to get but whenever I stood, my ankle gave out on me.

"Ow! Mom my ankle is killing me. Can you help me up please?"

"Of course honey." She bent down to help me but being so small, she staggered beneath my weight. As much as she tried, she couldn't get me upright.

"I'm sorry." She apologized.

"It's fine Mom. Is there anyone else who can help me? That's not Derek." I didn't want that jerk to help me up after he was the one that caused this.

"I'm sorry. George is at work, Lizzie hates everyone at the moment, and Edwin went a friend's house."

Really? When did my luck get so bad?

"Fine, can you ask him to help? He won't ever listen to me. He hates me."

"I'm sure he doesn't hate you Casey. I will go up and ask." She walked up the stairs leaving me alone. Why did this always happen to me? What did I do to deserve this? I can't believe I did this.

I heard my mom and Derek fighting upstairs. He didn't even want to help? Why? I never did anything bad to him. He grumbled as he came out of the room. He looked kind of hot as he was walking down the stairs. Wait, what am I saying? I don't like him, remember.

He walked down to me with a look of annoyance.

"God Princess, could you get any clumsier?" What? I am not going to take that from him.

"Could you stop being such an asshole?" Both my mom and Derek gasped. They had never heard me talk like that. Let's just say, I got a little bit less uptight since I went to New York. You kind of have to in the city.

"Casey!" My mom exclaimed.

"What? I'm sorry for my rudeness but I'm not in the mood to take it from this arrogant ass. Will you just help me up Derek?" I turned to Derek who was just staring at me. I wonder what he was thinking. As I said his name he shook himself back to reality.

"Yeah." He walked over, Put his arms around my legs and under my arms, picked me easily, and put me on the couch.

"Thank you." I said. I could hear the sarcasm in my voice but I didn't care. He annoyed me to no end and I wasn't standing up to it anymore. I didn't care what my feelings were for him. I didn't care if I thought of him as more then a friend.

"Whatever." He said and then turned to walk up the stairs. Why was he so mad at me? I hadn't been for a year to bug him or annoy him. Why the hell is he ignoring me? Normally he would be fighting with me right now. Oh well. I wanted to see Em. I had really missed her while I was gone but had always been to busy with the show to call. At least that's what I always told myself.

"Hey Mom. Can I have the phone please? I want to call Emily and tell her I'm back. I haven't talked to her in ages." I saw Derek stop. That's weird.

Everyone was silent for a moment. I wondered what had happened.

"Mom?" Why did she look pale? What didn't I know?

"You have to tell her Nora. I can't" I watched him as he ran up the stairs and heard him go to the bathroom. I could have sworn I heard him throw up but I could be sure.

"Mom, what's going on?" I asked. I felt like I was about to cry.

"Casey, there's something I have to tell you."


	4. Ow! Derek's POV

SO this is last chapter in Derek's POV. I decided it would be cool to write as Derek and it was. I loved it a lot. and don't worry you will know what's going on soon enough...

Disclaimer: Mwahaha I have magically made LWD mine in the past five minutes... I;m just kidding, who do you think I am Hermione Granger or something(no i don't own her either. I wish.)

* * *

I heard the door shut downstairs. I wonder who's here. Ah well, I don't care.

About fifteen minutes later I hear someone come upstairs.

That's weird. Edwin shouldn't be back yet.

This mystery person knocked on Lizzie's door and I hear her yell what. That's when I heard it. The voice I had been thinking about for the past year. I then heard Lizzie yell at her older sister. Now that's something you've never seen. I could just imagine her standing there with that shocked look on her face. I can't believe she's back. After a year of being gone with no word. She never heard what happened when she left.

I heard her go back downstairs, stepped out of my room and moved towards the stairs. She started bringing her stuff upstairs and I knew I should help her but I didn't. Just watched her struggle until she decided she would have to take a couple trips. She looked good. She started up the stairs and just before she got to the top I talked to her.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Klutzilla."

She looked up with a scared look and then fell back. I didn't even try to grab for her; just watched her fall. As she fell I started laughing. Not really at her just at how she looked as she was falling. She looked almost like she was dancing. It was somehow graceful-looking even though I knew it probably hurt like hell. She landed on the bottom and just sat there for a few seconds. Then I heard the yell.

"Der-ek!"

That made me laugh even harder. Oh how I missed that sound. Nora came running in to help.

"Oh my. Casey, are you okay?"

"Yes Mom. Your stepson just decided to scare me for old times sake and I fell." That was so not true.

"I did not decide to scare you. All I did was say hi. I could scare you a lot better then that if I really wanted to." And with that I walked back into my room.

Great, now she thinks I'm a class-a jackass. Well to her jerk I guess, unless she took up swearing.

I thought about it for a minute but then decided that she would never do that. I could hear Casey falling an Nora trying to help her get up but failing. They better not ask me. I can't take seeing her again. I needed time to collect my thoughts. Oh my god. What was happening to me?

I heard Nora knock on the door. Of course.

"What?" Nora took this as an invitation and walked in my room.

"Can you please come help with Casey? I can't help her up and she can't stand on her ankle." Her ankle? Again? Whoops

"I don't know Nora. She accused me of something I didn't do and I really don't want to." In fact I really did not want to see her again. There were way to many things going through my head. Some inappropriate things. Others things, Casey should know but doesn't.

"Derek. She just got home and she already is annoyed with you. I don't care what you think but I think you should at least help her to the couch so she doesn't have to sit at the bottom of the stairs all damn day!" Holy shit. I had never heard Nora swear before.

"Yeah and she hasn't been here for a year. She has no idea what happened shortly after she left. She doesn't know anything about her supposed best friend. She never called and for some reason no one ever called her. I'm sorry if I don't want to get her to the fucking couch."

"We agreed to not tell her because she would have wanted to come home and she needed to be there. It was always her dream. We don't mention anything to her unless she asks." Yeah, If she asks.

"Fine Nora, I will come help, but don't except to be all rainbows and happy that she's home." I walked out of the room grumbling to myself about Casey. And then I saw her. I had to admit she looked hot but then I remembered Emily and that went out the window.

"God Princess, could you get any clumsier?" I asked, the sarcasm dripping from my mouth.

"Could you stop being such an asshole?" I dropped my mouth. Casey? Swear? Where did that come from? I noticed Nora had done the same.

"Casey!"

"What? I'm sorry for my rudeness but I'm not in the mood to take it from this arrogant ass. Will you just help me up Derek?" I was just staring at her. She looked great when she was sexy. It also reminded me of all that's changed. When she said my name I shook my head and looked back at her.

"Yeah." I grabbed the area by her knees and under her arms and picked her up easily. She was so light. I carried over to the couch and set her down.

"Thank you." She said with a hint of sarcasm. I didn't want to talk to her anymore then I had to.

"Whatever." I replied and turned to walk back upstairs when I heard her say something that stopped me in my tracks and made the images return to my head.

"Hey Mom. Can I have the phone? I want to call Emily and tell her I'm back. I haven't talked to her in ages."

At the mention of Emily's name, I could feel the bile rise in my throat. All I could do was look at Nora who had turned white. She didn't think she was going to ask this early.

"Mom?" Casey asked.

"You have to tell her Nora. I can't." I ran up the stairs and into the bathroom to throw up. I could hear Casey downstairs asking what's going on and Nora start to tell the story.


	5. Like She's Sleeping

I know I am a freaking horrible person for keeping you waiting. I have just had a lot going on lately. College is coming to a close which means a crapload of papers and projects that are due and studying for finals. I promise you I will not keep you waiting that long ever again. I will even have a new chapter up later tonight or tomorrow. It depends on when I like it enough to put it up. Well enough of my ramblings. Onward with the story!

Disclaimer: I am broke. I would not be if I owned LWD. I own Cynthia (and even then she's based off my aunt). Anything else that has a resemblance to anything LWD, I do not own. Please don't sue a hard working college girl.

* * *

"About a month after you left, Derek broke up with Emily. She was so devastated that she didn't come out of her room for weeks. Her parents called here a couple times to convince Derek to take her back but he refused being him. They said that she wasn't eating or taking care of herself at all.

"They were finally able to get her out of room two weeks later. They took her to her favorite restaurant in hopes she would eat again. While there, her parents had a few too many drinks. A lot of people think Emily did too, which is why she didn't drive home after seeing her parents were drunk. On the way home, her dad crossed the middle line and hit a tractor trailer head on." Mom had tears in her eyes and I knew that I was crying.

"What happened to Em, Mom?" She took a deep breath.

"She survived but barely. Her dad was killed instantly and her mom died a few days later form the injuries. Emily is still in a coma. Her grandmother hasn't had the heart to turn life support off. She doesn't want to lose anyone else. She hopes that by keeping Emily alive, she can keep her daughter alive. She keeps hoping Emily will wake even though there have been no signs of life since the first month." Oh my god. My best friend is practically dead and no one called to tell me.

I jumped up but due to my ankle, I fell against the couch. I was getting furious.

"Why did no one call me and tell me?" I yelled at my mother.

"Because you didn't call. An entire year and you never called to check up." I didn't notice that Derek was walking back down he stairs.

"And why do you care so much about this? You never seemed to care about her while you were dating. What is so different now?"

"I cared about her even more then Sally. I broke up with her for one reason only and that was because of-" He stopped and looked strangely uncomfortable all of a sudden.

"What reason?" I had to know. If he cared so much about her why did he break up with her?

"No big reason really. Just something that I felt I had to do." Something he had to do my ass.

"Something you had to do? You broke her heart just because?" Once I could walk he was so dead meat.

"There's a reason. I just don't think you need to know it. Maybe one day but not right now. We can just leave this conversation behind and go back to fighting like ten year olds." He walked back up the stairs. He was not having the last word.

"Well fine, but trust me. You are not getting out of this that easily." I yelled up to him just as he shut his door and blasted music.

I started to cry for Em again. Who would I have to talk to now? Everyone seemed to change. Everything had changed and none was for the better. I was starting to think that contract looked really good. There was nothing left for me here.

"I want to go see her Mom. Please? I have to see my best friend."

"Sure Casey. Let me go get the set of crutches from the closet and we can go."

"Thank you." Mom got up to get the crutches while I just sat there thinking. How had things gotten so crazy? I had a great year while things were falling apart here. Things just keep getting worse and worse.

Mom came back with the crutches and we went to the car. We drove to the hospital in silence. I got to Em's room and froze. What would she look like?

"It's ok honey. She looks like she's sleeping. I know it's cliché but that's what it looks like." It's like she knew exactly what I was talking about.

I took a deep and walked in the room. I had never met Emily's grandma before but I'm guessing the old woman sitting in the chair was her. She looked like she had aged quickly in a short amount of time. She looked up as we walked in.

"Hi Cynthia. Casey just heard what happened and wanted to see her."

The old wo-Cynthia started to cry and got up to give me a hug.

"Oh Casey!" She sobbed into my neck. "I always looked forward to meeting you. I just wish it wasn't under these circumstances." Yeah, you and me both.

"I'm sorry." It was the only thing I could say. I still hadn't looked towards Em. I couldn't.

"Don't be. You had nothing to do with it. Now go over and say hi. Tell her about New York. I have to speak with Nora." She motioned for my mom to go outside then closed the door. I was left with an almost dead best friend. God that is so depressing.

I got the courage to look at her. Mom was right. It did look like she was sleeping. I almost wanted to go over to her and shake her awake. I slowly walked to her and put my hand over hers. I could feel the hot tears run down my cheeks.

"Hey Em. I'm sorry I didn't call. My first two months were packed with rehearsals and by the time I got enough time to call, it was too late or I was too tired. I wish I had called. I can't stand knowing I didn't call after what happened."

I started getting mad. Why the hell had this happened? Why did Emily deserve this? I couldn't stand being here anymore.

"I'm sorry." I told Emily and ran out. I found Mom and Cynthia talking in the waiting room. They were both crying and I wondered what was going on. I'll ask in the car.

"Hey Mom? Can we go?"

She wiped the tears off her face. "Sure honey." She grabbed her purse, said bye to Cynthia and started to walk away.

"Bye Cynthia." I hugged her and followed Mom. Once we were in the car I asked about what they talked about.

She hesitated before answering.

"She's taking her off life support."


	6. A Horrible Week

I told you I would update and guess what? I am! YAY! So I am in a really good mood because it's really nice where I live today and it hasn't been nice for like five months. Anyway on with the chapter.

disclaimer: I do not own LWD or Jimmy Eat World or the song Hear You Me. please don't sue me. My birthday is coming up and that would be a sucky birthday.

* * *

"She's taking her off life support."

"What? No, she can't do that." I just got home and already two things I hated had happened. They can't take her off. I needed to see her more. I needed to tell her bye. I needed her to still be here.

"Casey, she can't afford the bills anymore. The doctors have said it's what's best. There is no sign of brain activity. There hasn't been for months. There is a 5% chance she will wake up and even then she won't remember how to do anything. She will have to relearn everything. I'm sorry Casey but that's what is happening. Cynthia can't keep doing this anymore."

I started crying. I couldn't bear not having Em live beside me anymore. Not be able to just walk in and talk to her anymore. I looked out the window at the clouds.

"When?"

"Tonight. She said the funereal will probably be Saturday." Mom said softly.

We pulled into the driveway. I was about to step out when I realized my ankle was killing me. I had forgotten about that. I grabbed my crutches and walked inside behind Mom. George and Edwin were home.

"Hi Nora. Where were you?" George asked as we walked in the door. He hadn't seen me yet.

"Oh we were seeing Emily."

"We?" He looked over to where I was walking in, well stumbling in. "Casey! When did you get back? And what happened?"

"I got here today and Derek scared me and I fell down the stairs." I said quietly. I was still thinking of what Mom had said. I started trying to go up the stairs. It was hard with crutches.

Edwin spoke up. "Derek scared you. Haha, he has still got it." Ediwn laughed and then ran up the stairs nearly knocking me over in the process. I didn't care. I couldn't even try to get up the stairs so I just sat there and started crying. I was doing that a lot lately.

George looked at Nora confused. "What's wrong?"

"Let's go into the kitchen." They walked to the kitchen and closed the door leaving me sitting on the steps with my thoughts and tears to keep me company. I was so wrapped up in my own world I didn't hear someone come down the stairs and sit next me. I jumped when I felt arms around me.

"It will be alright Casey." A small voice said to me. I looked over and saw Marti sitting there.

"Hey Marti. I didn't realize you were here." I quickly wiped my face.

"Everyone missed you. Even Smerek." Ha.

"I highly doubt that. He just laughed when I fell down the stairs today. And he's the one who caused me to fall."

"Smerek told me boys pick on you when they like you. I think he just likes you." She whispered to me and then ran back up to her room.

That was confusing. I heard a door open behind me and I just figured it was Marti going into her room until I heard someone come downstairs. I turned and saw Derek.

"Hey. How's the ankle?" He asked. Why was being nice to me all of a sudden.

"Fine." I didn't want to talk anymore. It has been way to long of a day. I just wanted to sit in my bed and stay there until the end of the month when I could go back to New York and record. I think I'm going to take the offer. I don't see any reason for staying. Not after Em. Just thinking about her made me want to cry again but I held back the tears. I wasn't going to cry in front of Derek.

"How's Emily?"

"You know how she is. I don't want to talk about her right now." I looked away blinking back the tears.

He looked at me for a second and then widened his eyes. "Something happened. What happened?"

I looked at him. He looked like he already knew but wanted confirmation.

"She can't." He sat next to me and just held his head.

"Well she is. Tonight." He looked surprised at that.

"That soon?"

"Yep. That soon." I stood up and tried walking up the stairs again. This time I made it and walked into my room leaving Derek on the stairs.

I fell into the bed and fell asleep. I woke up later to Mom calling up the stairs saying dinner was ready. I looked around groggily as the day came flooding back to me. I got out of bed and limped down the steps. My ankle still hurt but I didn't want to use the crutches anymore.

I was surprised when I walked into the dining room. Lizzie was there and she didn't look like she had before. Her hair was blonde with purple and black streaks. She was wearing a tight black shirt with red skulls all over it and black skinny jeans.

I walked to the table and sat down. No one talked as we were eating. I looked around to see Mom, George and Derek not really eating, Marti playing with a toy, Lizzie scowling at me, and Edwin shoving his face full of food. I poked around at my food but barely ate anything. Was Emily off life support yet?

All of a sudden the phone rang. Mom got it and went into the other room. About five minutes later she came. I knew by the look of her face that it was done.

"I'm not that hungry. I will be upstairs." I said then went out of the room. I walked outside and sat on the porch. I just sat and stared at the world moving.

I wish I hadn't come home. I wish I had told the guy yes right up front and stayed out there. Then I wouldn't be feeling this way.

After a little while, Mom came out and told me the details. The funeral was on Saturday.

"Can I sing?"

Mom looked slightly surprised but said yes nonetheless. I sat outside until the sky turned dark and lights went off in houses.

The next few days flew by. My ankle had gotten better. Mom and George like zombies. Lizzie still wasn't talking to anyone. Edwin was still being Edwin. Marti was oblivious to everything. And Derek, well, he was being different. I noticed him looking at me a couple times. Once in a while I thought about him in a non-brother way but quickly squashed them. Saturday came and no one was ready to go. Especially me. I had written a song just for Em and I was nervous. Why had I asked to sing?

We piled into the car and headed to the church. I walked in and saw Cynthia up front by the coffin. I walked up to her and just gave her a hug. She clung to me like I was her life. When she let go I looked at the coffin.

"I can't believe she's in there." Cynthia just nodded and turned to greet other people. I looked at the pictures and saw a couple of her and I. God I missed her. I can't believe this happened.

Derek came up next to me.

"She was happy for you. She missed you though."

"I missed her too. I just never had the time to call. Now I wish I had made time." I walked over to my sat and waited for the service to start. I was singing at the end and didn't feel ready. When it started, almost everyone was crying. I was trying not to but I wasn't succeeding.

I wasn't fully paying attention when I heard my name called. I took a deep breath and walked front. I looked at everyone in the room and started talking.

"Emily was my best friend. She was the only who talked to me when I first moved here and I never thanked her for that. This is a song I wrote for her."

The music started and I sang.

_There's no one in town I know  
you gave us some place to go.  
I never said thank you for that.  
I thought I might get one more chance._

_What would you think of me now,  
so lucky, so strong, so proud?  
I never said thank you for that,  
now I'll never have a chance._

_May angels lead you in.  
Hear you me my friends.  
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.  
May angels lead you in._

Tears started running down my cheeks. I looked out and I saw other people started crying including Mom. I think even Derek shed a tear but I couldn't be sure.

_So what would you think of me now,  
so lucky, so strong, so proud?  
I never said thank you for that,  
now I'll never have a chance.  
May angels lead you in. _

_Hear you me my friends.  
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.  
May angels lead you in.  
May angels lead you in.  
May angels lead you in._

_And if you were with me tonight,_

_I'd sing to you just one more time.  
A song for a heart so big,  
god wouldn't let it live._

_May angels lead you in.  
_

_Hear you me my friends.  
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.  
May angels lead you in.  
May angels lead you in._

_Hear you me my friends.  
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.  
May angels lead you in.  
May angels lead you in.  
_

When I was done singing, I ran outside. I couldn't take it in here anymore. I ran into the cemetery and collapsed against a tree. I heard footsteps growing nearer and looked up to see Derek.

"What do you want Derek?"

"I just came to see how you were."

"Why do you care? You never have before." He sat down next to me.

"You want to know something? You were the reason I broke up with Emily and she knew it." Me?

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"This." He leaned over and kissed me before I could do anything.


	7. Maybe things will turn out happy

Oh my God, I am a horrible person... I am so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry. I know it has been so long and i hope you guys are still with me. When I got out of college and back home, my summer was so busy and I never had time to write and when I did, I had writer's block. Apparently I write better when I am procrastinating. I promise you I will never make you wait that long again and I will most likely update tomorrow or the next day. I promise. Again I am super sorry and I hope you can all forgive me or I might go into depression... :( Sorry if this chapter is not good. I have to get back into the swing of writing... Now please read!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Life With Derek... If I did, things would have ended a lot differently...

* * *

I pushed him away.

"What the hell was that?" I screamed at him. He just looked away. "My best friend just died, your ex-girlfriend, and here you are telling me that I was the reason you guys broke up and kissing me? What is wrong with you?"

Derek sat there and looked at the ground not saying a word. I scoffed and turned to walk back to the church.

Oh my god. Derek just kissed me. ME! Why? He said I was the reason and I was kind of happy. Besides he is really cute. Wait, what am I thinking? He hates me. I couldn't be the reason.

I shook my head clear of my thoughts as I walked back into the church. The service had ended and people were going up and hugging Emily's parents. I walked over to them and hugged Cynthia.

"I'm sorry for not being around more. I really should have called more."

"It's fine Casey. Emily understood." Cynthia's voice cracked a little. "She knew you were busy living your dream."

I smiled at her and walked towards Mom. "Can we please go?" I asked her in a begging tone.

"Sure honey just let me go find where everyone disappeared too."

"Thank you." I started to walk towards the car when I noticed Derek still sitting in the cemetery. I stopped and stared at him noticing how depressed he looked. I wanted to go over there and hug but I was still in shock from earlier and I so did not want to talk about it. I walked straight to the car not looking at anybody until I got in.

It took about five minutes for everyone else to pile into the car. As soon as we got home, I went upstairs and locked my door. I heard Derek do the same next door.

I started to pace the room. I needed to think about how I felt. Ever since I left for New York last year, all I could think about was Derek. I had dreams about him all the time. I couldn't get him out of my head for some reason. Then I come home to find out he had though about me and then he kissed me. At my best friend's funeral. His ex-girlfriend's funeral. And all I can think now is how much I loved that kiss.

Oh my God Casey, get ahold of yourself. You're stepsiblings.

But it's legal, since we aren't blood related.

But wouldn't it be weird.

I don't know. All I know is I care about him and now I know he feels the same about me.

Oh my god, I was having an argument with myself. I am going crazy. Then again, I have feelings for my stepbrother, who is right next door. Damn it, what do I do? Maybe we should give it a try. If we work out then I won't go to New York, if we do, then I stay. Sounds simple. Now how do I tell him? Shit.

I walked over to Derek's room and knocked on the door.

"What!" was the response I heard.

"It's me. " I heard him pause whatever he was doing.

"Go away!"

"Please Derek. It's important." It was silent for a few minutes. Just wen I was about to give up and walk away, I heard his lock click. I turned to see his door open. I glanced around then walked inside and sat on his bed. He closed his door and then looked at me.

Oh my god, he looked horrible. His eyes were red rimmed from unshed tears and he had a really depressed look on. I was taken aback. I had never seen Derek like this before.

"What did you want to say?" His voice brought me out of my thoughts. I started to get cold feet but I knew I had to do this.

"I'm sorry for the way I blew up at you. I was just sad for Emily and shocked at what you did and just overall confused."

"It's ok." He said as he sat down at his computer and looked at the screen.

"I feel bad and I regret how I regret the way I acted but I don't regret the action." He looked over surprised at me.

"What are you saying?"

"I think we should give us a try." He looked really surprised, like he couldn't believe I had said that.

"A try?"

"Yes. A try Derek. We should go out and see where that takes us." I can't believe I was saying this. What the hell is wrong with me? Oh crap, he's walking towards me. Breath Casey, just breath.

He sat down next to me and looked at me. "Do you mean it?" He looked like he almost like a child. He looked like he was afraid of anything else going wrong.

I just looked at him and said yes. He seemed really happy with my response and seeing him happy, made me happy too.


	8. A Talk, a Song, and a Party

I'm sorry. I know I said I would update in a couple days but I got writers block and college got a little hectic. I swear it won't happen again. It won't be this long between updates again. Now in this chapter, Derek is kinda OC but it works for the story. Also the link for the dress it mentions near the end is in my profile. I didn't do a great job of describing so if you want to look it's there. SO anyway on with the story.

Disclaimer: I do not own Life With Derek. I really wish I did but unless my parents magically get it for me for Christmas, it won't be mine. I also do not own Jake Epstein or the song used in this. I really wish I did because I love him.

* * *

The next few days seemed to go by perfectly. Things were finally starting to get back in order. Mom and George seemed a little happier and were starting to laugh again. Marti and Edwin were being Marti and Edwin. Derek and I were starting to finally be happy together. We were together every minute we could and he seemed genuinely happy. Of course we were still fighting, but not as much. The only thing that hadn't changed was Lizzie. I decided today was the day I would talk to her no matter what it took.

I walked up to her door and knocked.

"What?"

"Lizzie, can I please come in?"

"No Casey, please just go away!"

that took me off guard a little bit but I was insistent on talking to her one or another. "Lizzie if you do not open this door, I will barge right in." Silence. "Fine, I'm coming in." I turned the knob and opened the door. Lizzie was sitting at her desk on the computer. She turned and looked at me.

"What the hell! I said go away!" She turned back to what she was doing on the computer.

"I'm not leaving until we talk. What happened to you? When I left you were happy."

"What happened? You left and never called that's what happened." She whirled around and I was able to see the anger in her face. "I didn't know your number and you never called. All I wanted was my big sister who I could talk to about things, but no, she went off to New York City! I needed you to talk to but I couldn't because you weren't there."

Oh my god. The tears started to well up in my eyes. I felt like I had been slapped in the face. How could I have not realized what I was doing to my family and friends? "I'm sorry Lizzie. I was being selfish." She looked taken aback at this and her face softened a little bit. "I was happy to finally be doing something that made me happy and I didn't feel trapped in this house anymore." I started pacing. "I was happy that I didn't have to watch I was doing and didn't have to strive to be the best. I didn't have to worry about doing the wrong thing." I had started to cry by now and I noticed Lizzie had tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry for not being there. I know I should have and I really hate that I wasn't. I'm sorry." I went and sat on her bed.

She stood up from her computer desk and sat next to me. She put her arm around my shoulders. "I'm sorry Casey. I know I shouldn't have been angry. It's just been hard to not have anyone to talk to about certain things. I always went to you when I had a problem and you weren't there for a few big ones. It changed me."

"What kind of problems. Maybe I can help now."

"I doubt it. It's old news and it was stupid anyway. I don't know why it affected me. It was just a stupid guy."

"Guys can change us in ways we don't expect. I think sometimes we care a little too much. But don't worry, I'm sure things will get better. Look at me and Derek." I got a smile on my face just thinking about him.

Lizzie hugged me. "Thanks Casey. I'm sorry for being the way I was."

Before long we were laughing like we used to. Mom walked in looking surprised. Lizzie went up to her and hugged her. "I'm sorry, Mom."

"It's fine honey." Mom said. She was thoroughly confused. All I could do is laugh at Mom's expression as she left the room. Eventually I got up and went to Derek's room. I knocked on the door and heard him say come in. I opened the door, walked in and shut it behind me.

"Hey babe." I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. "What cha doing?"

"Waiting for you." He replied. "Sit." He directed me toward the bed and then went to his closet. He pulled out a guitar and looked at me. "I wrote you something."

"You wrote me something? I didn't you could write or play that well let alone sing." I smiled at him. I really think I was falling in love with him, though I won't admit it to anyone. He sat at his desk and started playing softly.

"**I was switched off like a light**

**A fighter with no fight**

**Staring up at the stars**

**I'd given into the dark**

**Burned out like a match**

**At the low end of the crash**

**The moon glowed like a scar**

**How did things go so far**

**Somehow you saw someone worth saving**

**You pulled me back into the light**

**Now if ever I can rescue you,**

**When you need two arms to fall into**

**You know exactly where I'll be**

**Just look for me**

**Oh look for me**

**When it seems like you have lost it all**

**And you feel like you're in free fall**

**Goin' deep into the blue**

**I will rescue you**

**When every promise turns to dust**

**And there's no one left to trust**

**When you're punchin at the sky**

**And you're out of alibies**

**I know how this feels**

**When the wounds don't want to heal**

**But I won't forget your grace**

**Or the beauty of your face**

**Somehow you saw someone worth saving**

**You pulled me back into the light**

**Now if ever I can rescue you**

**When you need two arms to fall into**

**You know exactly where I'll be**

**Just look for me**

**Oh look for me**

**When it seems like you have lost it all**

**And you feel like you're in free fall**

**Goin' deep into the blue**

**I will rescue you**

**I fell into that hole before**

**And I, I walked into that slamming door**

**And I faded away**

**To where you art in day**

**Now if ever I can rescue you,**

**When you need two arms to fall into**

**You know exactly where I'll be**

**Just look for me**

**Oh look for me**

**When it seems like you have lost it all**

**And you feel like you're in free fall**

**Goin' deep into the blue**

**I will rescue you"**

I just sat there and stared at him. That was the sweetest thing I had ever heard. He cleared his throat and started to talk.

"I really wasn't myself after you left, even more so after Emily's accident because I blamed myself. A few days ago when you said you wanted to give us a chance, you rescued me." He looked away looking a little embarrassed at what he just admitted.

I walked up to him and kissed him long and hard. When I finally pulled away, I looked into his eyes and said, "I'm glad I could do rescue you." He smiled.

"So anyway, there is this party tonight. I was wondering if you would be interested in going? I know it's not really your 'thing' but I thought It would be a stress reliever type thing. I mean I understand fi you don't want to go."

"Let's go."

He looked at me in surprise. "Really?"

"Yes. I could use a small distraction and it would be nice to see some people I know."

"Ok. We can leave here at about eight."

I glanced at the clock. It was five now. "Ok. See you then, I have to start getting ready and I'm sure dinner will be soon. " I gave him a peck on the check and went into my room humming. I started to pick out my outfit until dinner was called. About ten minutes later, I heard Nora call us downstairs. Dinner was actually more fun then usual, now that Lizzie was talking. We sat at the table talking for an hour so, as soon as I went upstairs, I stepped into the shower.

About an hour and a half later, I was ready. I was wearing a simple but sexy one shoulder black mini dress and had on basic black heels. My hair was wavy and half up. I couldn't wait for Derek to see me. Fifteen minutes later Derek knocked on my door. I stood up and opened it.

His jaw dropped when he saw me. "Wow." Was all he could say.

"I'm assuming that's a good wow?" All he could do was nod as I laughed at him. "Come on, let's go." I started walking towards the stairs. He finally came to his senses and quickly caught up with me. He pushed me against the wall and out his lips to mine. He licked my bottom lip and my mouth opened letting him explore. The kiss was heated but I pulled my head back before it got farther. "We need to get going."

We walked to his car hand in hand. We got to Sam's house to see people everywhere. Derek got out and walked over to my side to open the door. As soon as we walked in, we were bombarded by people. Most people were surprised to see Derek at first but then they realized who was with him. Then, everybody was surprised to see me, especially Sam.

"Oh my God! Casey?"

"Hey Sam. How are things going for you?"

"Great. I didn't expect to see you here, especially with Derek."

Derek pulled me close to him. "Things change man, things change." He said to Sam, then he turned to me. "I'm going to go get us some drinks, ok?"

I nodded and said ok. He took off weaving between people and left me standing there with Sam. After a couple of awkward minutes, I turned to him. "It feels kinda like high school again. Except without Emily." At the mention of her, I immediately started to feel regretful. How could I have come without her? I saw Sam looking a little down too.

"Yeah, but she would have loved this. She was definitely a partier." I laughed at this.

"That she was. She always dragged me to them even when I didn't want to go. I think that's why I came. To feel, I don't know how to explain it."

"I think I know what you mean. Well I should go entertain some more guests. I'll see you later." He walked away to talk to some more people, leaving me there alone. After about ten minutes I decided I should go and find Derek. As I walked towards the drinks, I glanced hoping to catch a glimpse of him, but I didn't see any. When I got to the drinks I found him.

Atteched to some blonde bimbo.

Who looked incredibly similar to his ex.


	9. Madness is in the Air

I walked up to them and saw Derek pull away and look around. His eyes caught mine, and then went big. I heard him mutter shit under his breath. "It's not what it looks like Case." He tried to explain.

"Not what it looks like? It looks like you were kissing Sally." I turned to her. "Hi Sally." She smiled nervously. I turned back to Derek. "Also don't call me Case. We're over. I'm going to go home now and leave you to her. Have fun." I turned around and started walking towards the door when I felt his hand on my arm.

"Case, please don't go." I wheeled around and looked at him.

"Don't touch me. You don't get a second chance with me. You're an asshole who I thought had changed, but no, you're just the same old skirt-chasing dick I thought you were when we first met." He looked like he was about to breakdown and all I wanted to do was hold him, but I couldn't. As much as I loved him, I finally admitted it myself, I couldn't take him back. It would kill me but I couldn't do it. "Good-bye."

I ran out the door and to the park. As soon as I got to the park, I sat down by a tree and finally let my emotions free. Tears spilled out of my eyes. I had trusted him. I loved him. And I let myself get hurt. I should have known he was going to hurt me. I looked up at the night sky and just screamed. Why, why, why?

I sat there for another hour and a half before heading back home. I was thankful when I didn't see Derek's car in the driveway. I walked up to my room and locked the door. I started rummaging around until I found what I was looking for. I had decided I was going to accept the contract. I fell into bed still wearing my dress and fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning at around seven. I was slightly confused as to what I was wearing until the night before came flooding back to me. I felt the urge to cry but knew I needed to sound normal for when I called. I grabbed my stuff and slipped quietly into the bathroom. I was hoping I wouldn't meet Derek anywhere along the trip and I was lucky. I stood in the shower letting the hot water warm me up for a while. When I finally got out and went back to my room, it was eight thirty. I decided it was time to call.

I got out my phone and dialed the number. A girl picked up the phone. "Hi, Thank you for calling Call Records. How May I help you?"

"Hi, my name is Casey McDonald. I was wondering if I could talk to Mark Callahan?"

"One moment and I will connect you." I was put on hold. I started to let my mind wonder to Derek. How could he have done that. I thought he felt the same way about me. I guess not.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by a voice. "This is Mark Callahan."

"Hi Mr. Callahan. This is Casey McDonald. You said you were interested in signing me a few weeks ago In New York City. I was just wondering if that offer was still open."

"Ah, Ms. McDonald. Yes of course the offer is still open. I'm assuming this means you would like it?"

"Yes." I took a deep breath to calm myself.

"Great, you won't be disappointed. When can you be here?"

"In a few days if that's alright? I can be there Monday."

"That will be great. I will see you at nine on Monday."

"Thank you Mr. Callahan, for everything."

"Pleasure is all mine. Have a good day."

"You too. Good bye."

"Good bye."

As soon as he hung up I dialed Sadie's number.

"What the hell. It's only nine frigging o' clock on a Saturday." I grouchy voice answered. I laughed a little.

"It's good to hear your voice to Sadie."

"Oh my God, Casey!" This perked her right up. "How are you? What the hell is going on. Why haven't you called?"

"Slow down there. I've been better, I haven't called because stuff has been going which I will tell you about later which brings me to, is the offer to stay at your place still open?"

My question was responded with a scream at the other end. "You took the contract? Of course the offer is till open! When are you going to be out here?

"I was hoping tomorrow. I have to get the plane ticket obviously but I think I can get one for tomorrow. Is that alright?"

"Of course. I can't wait to see you!"

"I can't wait to see you either Sadie. I also have a ton of stuff to tell you when I see you but for now I have to go inform my family I'm leaving tomorrow."

"You haven't told them?" she exclaimed incredulously.

"It was kind of spur of the moment. Like I said I have a ton of stuff I have to tell you."

"I cannot wait. Let me know when you land when you get the ticket."

"Don't worry, I will. See ya tomorrow Sade."

"See ya Case."

I hung up the phone and started to walk downstairs. Oh I hoped Derek wasn't down here. I was lucky to find he wasn't.

Probably decided to stay at Sally's house last night. Luckily, Mom was the only one in the kitchen. I could tell her before I told everyone else at dinner. "Mom. Can I talk to you?"

"Sure Casey." She sat down at the counter with her coffee and looked at me. "What's up?"

"Promise you won't get mad, please."

She had a confused look on her face. "I promise."

"On the night of my last show, a guy named Mark Callahan wanted to talk to me about a recording contract. He gave me some to think about it and I'm taking it. I leave tomorrow." I just sat and looked at my hands the entire time. I was afraid to see Mom's reaction. It took her a few minutes but she finally spoke.

"That's great Casey." I looked at in shock. She was beaming. "It certainly is a shack and it's really soon, but a recording contract is a huge deal. You could become famous. Just think of it. My daughter, famous. Why would I be mad?"

"I just thought you would be since I just got back and I'm afraid of Lizzie going back to how she was. I didn't how you would take me leaving abruptly. I also don't know how everyone else is going to react." Everyone else meaning Derek.

"I think they will be proud of you and as long as you call, I think Lizzie will be fine. When are you going to tell them?"  
"I was thinking maybe after dinner."

"That will be great. You might want to get the plane ticket if you haven't already." With that she walked downstairs still smiling about the thought of me famous. I walked back upstairs to find a plane ticket. I found one and Called Sadie to let her know my plane would be landing tomorrow at 2 pm. I then started packing. Then I heard the noise I was hoping I wouldn't. Derek. Shit, he would be there when I told the family. A few hours later, I had most of my things packed and I had gone over how I would explain a couple times in my head. I heard the call for dinner and then the door next to me open and close. I heard his heavy footsteps walk down the stairs. I wonder how he looked. I had to do this or I know I would take him back.

I slowly opened my door and walked downstairs. I avoided looking at him even as I sat down. I glanced at Mom and saw she was still beaming. I quickly looked back at my plate and started to eat.

Dinner went excruciatingly slow. When everyone was done eating, Mom spoke up. "Before everyone leaves, Casey has some news." I felt everyone's eyes on me, including Derek's. I glanced up at everyone except him.

"Umm, before I tell you, I really don't want any of you to be mad at me. It's just something I feel I have to do." This earned me some confused glances. "I'm going back to New York City tomorrow." I heard someone gasp. "The last night of my show a guy was there and he offered me a recording contract and I decided to take it. My flight leaves here at 12." I heard Derek get up and go upstairs. I finally let myself look up at everyone. George, Marti, and Edwin all looked happy. Lizzie on the other hand, was looking down. "Lizzie can I talk to you alone."

"Whatever." We got up and walked into the kitchen.

"I'm sorry, but I think it will be a great opportunity for me. I will call this time."

"Don't give me that opportunity bullshit." I had never that language from her before.

"Lizzie!"

"Don't think I didn't hear you come in crying last night. Something happened and you're walking away. You're a coward and I don't care if you call, I won't talk to you if you do." With that, she walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs. A few seconds later, I heard her door slam.

I just stood there not knowing what to do. I finally just walked out of the kitchen. Mart and Edwin had disappeared and Mom and George were talking. They stopped talking and George looked at me. "We think it's great Casey. Lizzie will come around."

"Thanks George." I walked up the stairs and to my room. When I opened my door, I was surprised to see Derek sitting there. I finally looked at him for the first time since last night. His face was expressionless.

"What do you want?" I was suddenly very tired.

"You're leaving."

"Yeah, I am. We were the deciding factor. The question was could we last and we couldn't so I called this morning and accepted the contract. What else is there?"

"Let me explain. She kissed me. We saw each started talking and she kissed me."

"Like I haven't heard that one before. Just leave, I want to go to bed."

"Please Casey. I love you." I stopped dead. I loved him and really just wanted to kiss him then, but I didn't know if he was saying because he meant it or because he didn't want me to go. I guessed the latter.

"I don't. Please just get out." I turned towards my closet and opened it. I pretended to be getting out some of the clothes I hadn't packed yet until I heard him leave.

"You know what Casey, fuck you. I think you are just a coward who runs when things get tough. We could have gotten through this but instead you won't even give me a chance. I hope you're happy in New York." I heard the door shut and knew he was gone. I walked over to the bed and collapsed. I fell asleep crying into the pillow. What had I done.


	10. A Long Story

A/N: So I'm sorry for the long wait. I have been having issues with my internet and this is the first time I have been able to actually do something on it. Stupid school internet. Any way her is the wonderful next chapter. Disclaimer: I do not own Life With Derek. Seriously. I don't. I mean I could ask for Christmas, but I doubt I will get it. I also only own half of Tim Quincy. He is based off of a character of Instant Star with a letter change. Which is the actor's name, but shhhhh...

I woke up the next morning feeling crappy. I had barely gotten any sleep and knew I probably looked like it. I stood up and walked over to my mirror. Sure enough, my eyes were bloodshot and had bags under them. I slowly gathered my things and started walking towards the bathroom, which, luckily, was open. I turned the shower on, took off my clothes and got in. As I stood letting the hot water relax my muscles, I couldn't help thinking I was making a mistake. What if what Derek and Lizzie had said to me was true? What if I am just a coward?

I shook my head to clear my thoughts and finished my shower. As I was walking back to my room, I heard Derek's door open. As soon as he saw me he froze. He looked about as crappy I did. His face was emotionless though.

"Hey Derek." I said trying to talk to him. He just turned back into his room and shut the door. I sighed and walked into my room. I started to pack the remainder of my things. Soon It was ten thirty and time to go the airport. I heard someone come into the room and I looked to see my mom.

"You ready to go honey?" She asked softly.

No. "Yeah, Mom. Just let finish getting everything out to the car." She looked like she could tell something was wrong but didn't say anything. She lingered for a second longer and walked downstairs.

As I got the last things out my room, I turned to look at it. As I looked around, I couldn't help but think I was making a mistake. I really loved Derek and when he said he loved me last night, I actually felt happy for a second. Then I remembered what had happened earlier in the night. I shut the door and quickly walked down the stairs.

When I got to the bottom, I saw everyone except Lizzie and Derek. Marti came up and hugged me.

"I'll miss you Casey."

"Aww I'll miss you too Marti." She smiled and ran back towards Edwin.

"Hey Casey, when you become rich and famous, think you could give me some money?"

"Edwin!" George exclaimed. I just stood with s slight smile on my face. I said Bye to them and followed my mom out to the car. When we got to the airport, she turned to me.

"I'm really going to miss you Casey." She had tears in her eyes.

"Oh Mom, don't cry. I'm going to miss you too. I promise I will call more often this time." I reached over and hugged her. She helped get my things out of the car and into a luggage cart. We hugged one last time, then I watched her pull away. I walked toward the airport, went through the checkpoints, and waited for my flight. Then I waited another half hour until my flight was called. I got onto the plane and found my seat. I was glad to find it was a window seat. As I watched people board, I saw someone who I thought was Derek. I did a quick double take to realize it was only a young man who looked kinda like Derek. I sighed, leaned back in my seat, and closed hoping to get him out of my head. About ten minutes later, we were off.

Two hours later and we were landing. I got off, got my luggage, and went to look for Sadie. I finally spotted her sitting reading a magazine.

I walked behind her and said, in my best man voice, "Come here often pretty lady?"

She jumped up and started yelling. "Hey now, I'm probably stronger then your little ass and…. OH MY GOD CASEY!" She finally realized it was me and hugged me. "I missed you so much. We have to get caught up. What happened at home? I have stuff to tell you too and just oh my god, I can't believe you're here." She was talking way to fast for me to take.

"Sadie, calm down. You're talking even than I do when I'm upset, and that's saying something."\ So what's your news first off?" She started smiling.

"I have a new boyfriend and I totally think you will love him."

I smiled. I was happy to see Sadie so happy even when my life felt like it was falling apart. "So what's his name and what's he like?"

"I'll tell you in the car." She grabbed a couple of my bags and started rushing towards the car. We reached it and got my luggage loaded into the back, then we climbed in and Sadie started driving. "Ok, so his name is Sean and he is completely perfect. He has blonde hair and he has soft blue-green eyes that I could just stare at all day and be totally happy and he has the most chiseled abs you will ever see and he is just perfect." She rambled on about Sean as I sat and listened to the excitement in her voice. I was happy for her. "Anyway, enough about me. What happened at home?"

"Where do you want me to start?"

"How about the beginning."

I took a deep breath and started speed talking. "My sister yelled at me, Derek made me fall down the stairs, I found out my beast friend was in a coma, and then they took her off life support and I sang at the funeral, and then Derek kissed me and I was in shock but I later told him we would try it, then we went to a party and I caught him kissing another girl so I called Mr. Callahan and told him I would take the contract and here I am." When I was finished I was out of breath. I glanced over at Sadie whose mouth was open in shock.

"Wait, wait, wait. You sort of me lost me. Did you say your best friend died, Derek kissed you, you guys got together, and then he kissed someone else?"

"Umm, yes?" I said apprehensively.

We started slowing and I realized that we had reached the apartment. Sadie turned to me. "We are going to go take your stuff in, put it in your room without unpacking it, then you're going to tell me again what you just said but with more details and slower. Got it? Good."

Before I could say anything she had gotten out and shut her door. I sighed and got out to grab my stuff. After I had everything in the room, I walked out to the living room to see Sadie already waiting for me on the couch. "Before I start, can I call my mom real quick so that she knows I'm safe?"

"Go ahead but be quick."

I got out my cell and dialed Mom's number but only got her voicemail. I left a quick message saying I got to the apartment ok and turned back to Sadie. She patted the couch next to her and I sat down.

I nervously started to play with my hands as I spoke. "So I got home and talked to my mom for a while and she told me everything that had been going on at the house since I had left. One of them was that Lizzie had changed dramatically so I went up to try and talk with her but she yelled at me to get out. As I was about to walk back downstairs, Derek said something and scared me so I fell down the stairs. After I got settled on the couch I said I wanted to call Emily and that's when my mom told me that Derek and Emily had broken up then Emily and her parents had gotten into a car accident killing her parents and leaving her in a coma."

I glanced at Sadie and she was sympathetically looking at me. I took a deep breath and continued. "I went to the hospital to visit her and told her I was sorry I didn't call. After a while my mom took me home but I noticed she looked like something was wrong so I asked her. She told me that Emily's grandmother was going to take her off life support because she couldn't pay for the bills anymore. They took her off the next day and the funeral was a few days later. I asked if I could sing and I was able to so I sang a song I wrote for her. After I sang I ran out of the church. I just couldn't take it at all. I was sitting next to a tree in the graveyard when I heard someone come up to me. It was Derek. He said I was the reason he broke up with Emily and then kissed me."

I heard Sadie gasp. "Oh my God, he kissed you!"

"Yeah crazy, I know. Anyway I shoved him away and asked what the hell was he doing. I just couldn't do it there. When we got home, I ran up to my room and started thinking. I had been thinking of Derek since before I got home. Maybe I could give him a shot. It was then I decided he would be the deciding factor of this contract. If we could work out, I would stay there. If we didn't I would come back. Everything was great at first. Derek and I were great together, and Lizzie was starting to come through. And actually talk to me again. Then came the party. He had gone to get a drink and hadn't come back for ten minutes so I went to find him. It was then that I saw him kissing Sally, the only ex he had ever actually cared for. I walked up to them, told him we were over and ran home. After I went to sleep I called Mr. Callahan said I would be coming out, got an appointment set up for tomorrow and here I am."

Said just looked me. "You are like a soap opera on your own. You were home for two weeks and that happened. I would like to see you at home for a month and see what it's like."

"Thanks Sades, You know just how to cheer me up." I rolled my eyes at her. She just laughed.

"Of course that's why you love me!" She smiled at me and I laughed. "So you have an appointment tomorrow? Are you excited?"

"I am very excited. I just don't know how it will go or if I should bring a song. Oh god, what if he wants me to sing tomorrow?" I started getting a nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach. I don't know if I could do this.

"Casey, You are amazing. Just write a song based on the past two weeks of your life and it will be perfect. Now go get your stuff unpacked and write your little heart out!"

She shoved me towards my room and shut the door behind me. I looked at the door for a moment then turned to my things. As I started putting things away, I noticed a picture. It was of me and Derek laughing like nothing was wrong. I suddenly got a burst of inspiration and started to write. When I fell asleep, I knew the next day would be great.

I woke up at 8 and started to get around. Sadie drove me to Capital Records, said good luck and left. I looked up at the building and felt a new wave of nervousness wash over me.

I can do this. This is the next chapter in your life. Just sing the song from last night and you will do this.

I walked up to the receptionist and told her who I was there for. I sat in the waiting room for ten minutes when I saw him towards me. He looked happy to see me.

"Casey! So glad you could make it. Follow me up to the studio and let's see what you've got." I smiled and followed up to the studio. I walked in and noticed another guy sitting there. I gave him a little wave and he smiled back. "This is Tim Quincy. If everything goes well today, he will be your producer. So what do you have for us today."

"I have a song I wrote last night. I'm not sure exactly what it's called yet." I nervously looked at them.

"That's great. If you will step into the vocal booth, we can get started."

I walked in the vocal booth, set my music down on the stand in front of me and started to play.

_Time to tell me the truth_

_To burden your mouth for what you say_

_No pieces of paper in the way_

_Cause I cant continue pretending to choose_

_These opposite sides on which we fall_

_The loving you laters if at all_

_No right minds could wrong be this many times_

_My memory is cruel_

_I'm queen of attention to details_

_Defending intentions if he fails_

_Until now, he told me her name_

_It sounded familiar in a way_

_I could have sworn I'd heard him say it ten thousand times_

_If only i had been listening_

_Leave unsaid unspoken_

_Eyes wide shut unopened_

_You and me_

_Always between the lines_

_Between the lines_

_I thought I, thought I was ready to bleed_

_That we'd move from the shadows on the wall_

_And stand in the center of it all_

_Too late, two choices to stay or to leave_

_Mine was so easy to uncover_

_He'd already left with the other_

_So I've learned to listen through silence_

_Leave unsaid unspoken_

_Eyes wide shut unopened_

_You and me be_

_You and me always be_

_I tell myself all the words he surely meant to say_

_I'll talk until the conversation doesn't stay on_

_Wait for me I'm almost ready_

_When he meant let go_

_Leave unsaid unspoken_

_Eyes wide shut unopened_

_You and me_

_Always be_

_You and me_

_Always between the lines_


	11. A Year Down the Road

**I'm so sorry again for the delay. My computer has been the ritz with my internet and college is hectic with finals only a week away. I'm also sorry this chapter is really short but I wanted that cliffhanger feel to it. I promise the next one will be longer and probably up shortly like tonight or tomorrow! I promise and if it's not you can hunt me and egg me and steal what little money I have! :)**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Life With Derek, I would have a car and be able to get my computer fixed and actually get Christmas gifts but alas, None of those things are true... **

* * *

**1 year later**

It had been a year; a year since Emily died, a year since I left Derek, and a year since I started loving him. I was famous now; a young new artist who had sold out shows all over the country. I had guys falling at my feet asking me to marry them, some girls too, and big name celebrities asking me go on a date with them, and yet I always said no. I couldn't date someone when my heart was already taken. He had ripped it out and yet I still loved him.

I heard a knock on the dressing room door. "Come in!" I yelled and looked up to see Sadie walking in smiling.

"It's time to go on. The crowd is going wild!"

I smiled at Sadie. "I'm coming. How do I look?" I stood up and turned showing off my bright red halter dress.

"You look amazing! Now come on before the audience dies of anticipation!"

"Oh Sadie, always the little drama queen!" I laugh

She flips her hair. "I try." We both walk out of my dressing room laughing. As I get closer to the stage I can hear the screaming from my fans. I had done this so many times but for some reason, I was always nervous. "Don't worry Casey, you will be great like always."

"Aren't you a little biased Sades?"

"Maybe a little, but I know I can always cheer you up!" She stuck her tongue out at me.

"My God, you are like a fourteen-year-old. " I laughed at her. She was right though, she could always cheer me up. I was smiling as I heard the announcer say my name and I walked on stage. Sadie's words combined with the screaming of my fans calmed me down.

"Hey guys! You all ready to have a great night?" If possible they screamed louder. I couldn't believe I had gained this many fans within a year. "I have a new song to sing tonight. I wrote over a year ago but wasn't ready to show it until tonight. Be lucky! You guys are the first to ever here it." I grabbed my guitar and started playing.

_I don't think that passenger seat_

_Has ever looked this good to me_

_He tells me about his night_

_And I count the colors in his eyes_

_He'll never fall in love he swears_

_As he runs his fingers through his hair_

_I'm laughing cause I hope he's wrong_

_I don't think it ever crossed his mind_

_He tells a joke I fake a smil_

_That I know all his favorite songs_

_And._

_I could tell you his favorite color's green_

_He loves to argue, born on the seventeenth_

_His sister's beautiful; he has his father's eyes_

_And if you asked me if I love him,_

_I'd lie_

_He looks around the room_

_Innocently overlooks the truth_

_Shouldn't a light go on?_

_Doesn't he know that I've had him memorized for so long?_

_He sees everything black and white_

_Never let nobody see him cry_

_I don't let nobody see me wishing he was mine_

_I could tell you his favorite color's green_

_He loves to argue, born on the seventeenth_

_His sister's beautiful; he has his father's eyes_

_And if you asked me if I love him_

_I'd Lie_

_He stands there then walks away_

_My god if I could only say_

_I'm holding every breath for you..._

_He'd never tell you but he can play guitar_

_I think he can see through everything_

_But my heart_

_First thought when I wake up is_

_My god he's beautiful_

_So I put on my make up_

_And pray for a miracle_

_Yes I could tell you his favorite color's green_

_He loves to argue oh and it kills me_

_His sisters beautiful he has his father's eyes_

_And if you asked me if I love him_

_If you asked me if I love him_

_I'd lie_

As I finished singing all I could think about was him. I tried so hard to not think about him this past year but he always popped up. Memories I had pushed back started to resurface. I could hear shouting from Sadie but I couldn't answer. I all of a sudden couldn't breath. I don't know what about him made me feel like this. He wasn't even here and he pushed me to my breaking point. The next thing I knew my world was black.


	12. Surprise!

So here is yet another chapter. Sorry it's short. I wanted to get another chapter out before I started working on the crap load of homework I have including memorizing a scene by thursday for my acting class. EEP! anyway here you are. Read on!

Disclaimer: Me:Are you my mother?

LWD owners: Yes I am not your mother.

Me: Mommy, can I have LWD for Christmas?

LWD owners: Of course Honey here you are. *takes out paper*

Me:YAY!

LWD owners: hahaha just kidding. *snatches papers away*

Me: *crying on the floor*

* * *

I woke up to bright lights in a very bright room. "Where am I?" I asked aloud to no one, so I was surprised when someone answered.

"You are in the hospital." Sadie's voice rang.

"What?" I quickly sat up only to realize this was a bad idea. I brought my hand up to my head as I laid back down. "Ow. What happened?"

"Don't you remember? You blacked out after the first song of your concert. The doctors said t was some sort of panic attack."

As she was talking my mind shifted to earlier. The song and the memories came flooding back and before I knew it, I was hyperventilating.

"Casey?" I heard Sadie but I couldn't answer. I heard her run out of the room and then return a few seconds later with someone else.

"Casey, I need you to calm down. Just take a deep breath to try and regulate your breathing." I tried taking a few shaky breaths in but I couldn't seem to calm down. It was like Derek was here torturing me. The doctor or nurse or whoever he was pulled me up into a sitting position. My head screamed in protest but I knew it was for the best. A few minutes later I finally returned my breathing to normal. I was still shaky though.

"Who are you?" I asked as I lay back down.

"I'm Dr. Hernandez. Now I know you just woke up and after that little episode, you probably want to go back to sleep but I have a questions to ask you real quick. Is that alright?" I shook my head yes. "Great." He grabbed my clipboard from the end of the bed. "Have you ever experiences panic attacks in the past?"

"Once or twice a few years back."

"What caused those attacks?"

I thought back to just 5 years ago. "My mom divorcing my dad and then remarrying someone without even asking me. Also moving me to a new house and school."

"Is there a history of panic attacks in your family?"

"Not that I know of, but I would have to ask my mom." My mom. I really wanted to call her. What time was it anyway?"

"Well thank you for letting me ask. I will leave you to sleep now. A nurse will be in every so often to check on you."

"Thank you." I said as he was leaving. When he walked out the door, I turned to Sadie. "What time is it?"

"About four in the morning. You should get some sleep."

"So should you, you look awful."

"In the hospital and still making fun of me, I see."

"Of course, you expect a little hospital room would change my attitude, did you? You obviously don't know me." I smiled at her.

She laughed and said, "I know you more then you know yourself. Now get some sleep and then you call your mom."

"Fine your highness. If I could stand I would bow to you and your gloryness." I said sarcastically and rolled over smiling. I heard her laugh and then try and to get confortable in the chair. All it took was my eyes to close and I was out.

When I woke up, it took a moment to remember where I was. I glanced over at Sadie and noticed she was still asleep. She must have been exhausted. I attempted to sit up and noticed my head didn't hurt as much. When I finally pulled myself up, I started thinking.

What are my fans going to think, I have to do something to make up last night to them. Oh God what will the press say. I have done so well to keep on the good side of the tabloids but what about now. This is the kind of stuff they live for. Oh no. Ok Casey, you need to calm down before you have another panic attack. Just focus on something else. Like calling your mom. She deserves to know what happened. I picked up the phone next to me and dialed home.

"Hello?"

"Hey George, is Mom there?"

"Oh hey Casey. Yeah she is, hold on." I had to hold the phone away from my ear while he yelled for Mom. "She is on her way. So are you coming home anytime soon. I know Nora would love to see you and I'm sure Lizzie would."

How I missed Lizzie. I wish she would talk to me again. "I'm sure Mom will try again this phone call, and who knows? Maybe I will accept."

"That'd be nice. Well here she is." I heard him hand the phone off.

"Casey! Honey, how are you?"

"Um." How do I tell her I'm in the hospital without her freaking out? "I'm alright, I have been better. I'm, um, in the hospital."

"WHAT? What happened? Are you all right? Just give me a few hours to pack and I will be on the next flight. Just let me talk to Georgie ab-"

"Mom, calm down. I'm fine."

"You are not fine if you are in the hospital." I heard a loud commotion in the background and could only awesome whoever was around was now trying to see what's wrong.

"I just had a panic attack and blacked out during my concert last night. I should be fine and out of here soon."

"A panic attack? But you've had those before and never blacked out."

"That's because someone has always been there to remind me to breath. This time I was on stage so no one was there to help."

"Are you sure you're fine honey?"

"Yes Mom, right now I'm just worried about what the tabloids are going to make of this." At that moment I noticed a flash off to my right. I looked out the door and noticed a couple guys with cameras taking pictures. "Speak of the devil and he shall come. Mom can I call you back in a few minutes? I have to try and keep my privacy."

"Sure Casey I will be waiting. I love you."

"Love you too." I hung up the phone and tried to wake up Sadie. "Sadie. Sadie! SADIE!" She still hadn't so much as stirred, so I took my pillow and threw it at her as hard as I could. This jolted her awake.

"What the hell!"

"Sorry but unless you want to be in a tabloid as y new lesbian lover, I suggest you help out." That woke her up enough to look outside. I heard mumble shit as she went to talk to the doctors about more security. I watched her walk out the door and yell at the paparazzi. I was about to pick up the phone when I heard he door open again. I turned and saw Mr. Callahan walking in.

"Hello Casey, I see you are doing better than last night?"

"Yeah. Much better, what are you doing here?"

"Can't the guy who made you famous just want to stop by and see how his favorite star is doing?"

"You never really struck me as that type of guy. But until you tell me why you're here, I will just say thank you."

"You're welcome. Well I did come here for another reason. We are signing another guy on our label. He isn't the best there is but he definitely has the looks and the right vibes to get plenty of girl fans. We were wondering if you would be willing to do a duet with him?" Hmm. A duet? With what sounds like a pretty cute guy? This could work out to my advantage.

"Sure why not. It sounds like it could be fun and I think it would be cool."

Mr. Callahan smiled at me. "Excellent, so when you're out of here and feeling better, you two can meet and get started."

"Great. I can't wait. May I ask what his name is?"

"His name is Derek Venturi."


End file.
